What's God Like?

I was 8 years old that day I nervously tiptoed into our living room. My mother was opening the drapes, flooding the room with light. "Can I talk to you, Mom?" I asked.

"Of course," she answered. Then, when I said nothing, she turned to me, and seeing the worry on my face, took me to the couch, where we sat. "What is it?" she asked. "You know you can tell me anything."

After a pause, I whispered, "But I'll go to hell if I say this."

"Oh, honey, you won't go to hell. I promise. What is it?"

I answered quiet and fast, with my eyes scrunched shut, "I . . . I love you and Daddy more than I love God." And then, with the memory of what I'd just learned in CCD class--"I must love the Lord my God above all else"-- I waited. Waited to feel the searing bolt of lightning, waited to hear the thunderous Voice rail in anger at such a faithless child.

But instead of righteous fury, I felt the soft embrace of my mother and heard her gentle voice, "God understands that it's hard for you to love him because you've never seen him. But when you love me and Daddy, you are already loving God. Do you understand?"

Well, I didn't quite yet, but at that moment I began to question my conception of God. My original ideas of God had been formed mainly from Bible stories and pictures. I knew there was the God who had a white beard and sat on a throne. And then there was Jesus who was very nice and carried a lamb. As for the Holy Ghost, well, it wasn't really a ghost, it was a white dove.

Today, of course, I know that's not what God is really like. But what is God like, and how do we know? The Bible is one of our primary sources of revelation but unfortunately, in the Old Testament, God can seem severe and punishing with no sense of humor. This God will flood the whole earth or turn a woman to salt for her curiosity.

And at first glance, stories such as that of Abraham and Isaac also make God seem rather cruel. "Take your son Isaac," God said to Abraham, "your only son, whom you love, and offer him as a sacrifice." But then, before Abraham could kill Isaac, God stopped him. Later, because of a great love for us, God would sacrifice Jesus; that is not the act of a cruel, severe God.

Therefore, to understand God better, we must look at the overall portrait painted of God in the Old and New Testaments. If we do, we will find that the idea that God is punishing is an erroneous impression. "Sometimes when people are suffering, as the Israelites did, they think that God has abandoned them, but that is contrary to the overwhelming testimony of both the Old and New Testaments," says Catherine Mowry LaCugna, professor of theology at the University of Notre Dame.

"It's not that God ever turns God's face from Israel--if we think that, we can end up with this idea of God as a very arbitrary, rather mean-spirited person--rather, it's that Israel is unfaithful to a certain point, and when it's unfaithful, bad things happen. There are numerous texts where God is merciful, God is loving, God is kind, God is full of desire for Israel."

But access to God was limited in Old Testament times. Prophets spoke of mysterious images, Moses saw a burning bush, the Holy of Holies was empty of any physical sign of God. We learn in Hebrews that the law "contained but a shadow, and no true image, of the good things which were to come."

In Jesus Christ, we have found those good things. Jesus is the visible image of the invisible God; through Jesus we can know God completely. Says LaCugna, "In Jesus Christ, God didn't just reveal a part--'I'll only give you 50 percent'--God fully communicated God's self. If we ask, 'What would God look like if God took human form?' or 'What would God do?', this Jesus is what God looks like, he does what God does."

From Jesus, we learn that God is concerned with the tiniest details in our lives, for God numbers the hairs on our heads. In the parables of the lost coin and the lost sheep, we realize that God will unceasingly seek our love. In God's acceptance of all people, regardless of riches, power, occupation, or sex, regardless of sinfulness, we see an acceptance of each of us--just the way we are, right now.

When God talks of the foolishness of leaving the fallen donkey in the well until the Sabbath is over, we see a practical God who affirms that the law was made for us, not us for the law. And in Jesus' torture and death, we see a great and humble lover, a human God who would do anything to save us and reunite us to God.

And once we choose to be reunited with God (and the choice is always ours; God does not take away our free will), "nothing in death or life, in the realm of spirits or superhuman powers, in the world as it is or the world as it shall be, in the forces of the universe, in heights or depths--nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord," Saint Paul tells us.

We can find that love of God today in the people around us. Jesus told us, "What you do to others, you do to me," and so we understand that when we care for our fellow men and women, we are loving God.

Dzung Nguyen is a man who gained a greater understanding of God through service to others. Born in Saigon during the Vietnam War, Nguyen lived in Vietnam until the age of 18, and when the war ended in 1975, he and his extended family fled to the United States.

Though they escaped most of the sufferings of the conflict, Nguyen and his family were not immune to the pain of others in their native country. "Being exposed to all the hardship strengthened in me the resolve to reach out and be Christ to those in need," says Nguyen.

In 1992, after a chaplain friend told him of a camp in the Philippines set aside for Vietnamese refuge seekers, Nguyen decided to spend six weeks helping in the camp.

"You know how people in love will do anything for each other, they'd go to the ends of the world? Well, I was just in love with God. And if the poor are his friends, and he prefers them, I wanted to experience that," says Nguyen.

"I saw God at that refugee camp. I mean, it wasn't like I saw a bunch of these people and shouted, 'Oh, yeah! That's God. That's God!', but it was just the feeling that this is him, this is what he's like. If you know someone very, very well, you could pick him out of a crowd of thousands of people, or, if he walked into the room, you could sense him there. That's how I felt.

"I learned from my relationship with God to do what he did. That if you see bad things happen to people, you try to help them and to show them that God cares, God weeps with them, and he is empathizing. I guess that's my way to prove that God's there, and that this God is someone whom I am in love with, whom I trust completely with my life. He is my Creator, and he is a good God, a personal God."

Unfortunately many people do not have Nguyen's sense of a personal God and have difficulty believing that God is intimately interested in each of us. How can God bother with our day-to-day needs when there are people suffering in refugee camps or starving in Somalia? But if we think that, we limit God's power--God's capacity to love.

When my son was 10 weeks old, he had surgery and was hospitalized; recovery lasted for weeks. His needs were great. During all that time, I was still a mother to my 3-year-old daughter. One day, when she was coloring a picture, the page tore. She ran to me in tears, begging me to fix it. I helped her find tape, and we patched it up.

I didn't say to her, "Look at the needs of your brother here; I can't take time to help you with this unimportant thing." She was still my child just as much as her brother was, and what was important to her was important to me. Surely God, whose capacity for love is infinitely greater than mine, can and will help all of us with our needs, great or small.

At other times, we feel distanced from God because of our sinfulness. As Father Santan Pinto of Bosque, New Mexico says, "We look at ourselves and say, 'How sinful I am! How is it possible for me to see God? How is it possible for God to love me?' Because of the consequence of sin, when God calls us, we are afraid of him.

"Do we remember that in the Garden of Eden whenever God used to call out to Adam, Adam was never afraid?" Pinto asks. "Only when he sinned did Adam become afraid."

For all our good intentions, we, too, inevitably continue to sin. Paul speaks of the frustration of that failing in Romans: "I discover this principle, then: that when I want to do the right, only the wrong is within my reach. Who is there to rescue me?"

The answer, of course, is Jesus Christ, who lets us know that as long as we have a breath in our bodies to cry out to God, we will be accepted. For proof we have the repentant thief on the cross, as well as the parable of the vineyard, where the worker who comes very late in the day receives the same pay as the one who came early.

When we do turn to God, when we say, as the prodigal son did, "Father, I have sinned against you; I am no longer fit to be called your child," we can be assured that God will answer, "Let us have a feast and celebrate this day! For this child of mine was dead and has come back to life; he was lost and is found."

It is the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, who gives us the confidence to approach God in spite of our faults and rewards us by "flooding our inmost hearts with the knowledge of God's love." In Romans we learn that this Spirit we have received is not a spirit of slavery loading us back into a life of fear but a Spirit that makes us children of God, enabling us to call God Father.

"The Holy Spirit is the one who can connect you with God," Pinto says. "The important things are sincerity and simplicity. If you are simple, as a child, you'll be able to make it through. Try to give God five minutes of your day, and in those five minutes don't bother about doing anything, just allow God to love you, allow his Spirit to guide you. Don't think, don't do anything, just remain still in his presence. The more still you can be tells you how much you trust him.

"It's like a person sitting in a dental chair," Pinto explains. "If you can't trust the dentist, you're going to be jumpy and jittery and afraid to open your eyes, and you won't be able to open your mouth because you are afraid that he may drill through you. But if you trust the dentist, you can sit still. And if you trust God, you can sit still."

What if you can't sit still? Pinto speaks from experience when he advises just being honest with God. "There was a time," he recalls, "when I didn't even know God. I didn't know what he looked like, and I would just tell him that. I would say, 'I don't know who you are; I don't know what you look like, and I don't know if you really care about me or what I'm saying.'

Then all of a sudden one day he said, 'I do care.' And then the shock! I said, 'You care? You're interested in me? I'm so stupid.' And he said, 'No, you're my child.' So he does reveal himself."

Will those revelations ever give us a complete understanding of God in this life? "No," says LaCugna, "for, although we believe that God is fully revealed in Christ, because of the limitations of human knowing, we perceive this only partially.

"One of the basic principles of theology is that God is incomprehensible and ineffable. But those terms still don't describe God," she says. "They describe limits of our knowing. They describe the condition of our knowledge. Augustine said that something that can be called ineffable is not ineffable because you've already grasped something about it."

To understand God better, "we make analogies, we have images and symbols, concepts and narratives and so forth, all of which have to do with things that are not God. They're all creaturely," says LaCugna.

"For instance, we might say that God is like a rock, but we don't mean that God is literally a rock. We mean, as the metaphor goes, that God is sure or strong or solid or immovable. All such metaphors or images only describe various aspects of God's being."

There is no one right way to see God, LaCugna says, though in her surveys of undergraduates, she usually finds that people in their 20s "tend to have a pretty literalistic idea of God." People in their 30s and 40s abandon a lot of that," she says, "and they're more open to thinking of God as a mother, as well as a father. They're less attached in some ways to the institutional forms of piety. They've been shaped by their own life experiences by that point.

"But there are people who are 80 years old, says LaCugna, "who still see God as the old man with the gray beard. Faith is that personal relationship with God, and there are all sorts of pieties. God accepts every one of our efforts."

We do have the promise that in heaven our knowledge of God will be whole, like God's knowledge of us. What will it mean to see what eye has never seen, to hear what ear has never heard, to know what mind has never imagined? According to LaCugna, "We will know God as fully as humans can know God. In other words, our humanity will not be violated. Presumably we are going to know more, or know more clearly. But try to imagine what it means to say we will see God face-to-face--we'll still be a creature facing the Creator."

At the beginning of this article, I described how I used to see God. Today I would find it very difficult to put my conception of God into words, though I like what Father Andrew Greeley says in his book What a Modern Catholic Believes about God (Thomas More, 1971): "He is not an aloof God in Heaven, disinterested in our behavior; not a cantankerous God waiting for us to violate some of his rules, sure that he may become angry at us . . . He is an insistent lover, pursuing us with persistent deliberate speed despite our own frenzied and foolish attempts to escape from him . . . He is a whirling, swirling dervish trying to catch us up in the mad frenzy of his rhythm; an old ghost who haunts us with an invitation to the dance."

One last thing I understand about God is love, and therefore I know, from Corinthians 13:4–7, that God is patient; God is kind and envies no one. God is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; God is never selfish, nor quick to take offense. God keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over people's sins but delights in the truth. There is nothing God cannot face; there is no limit to God's faith, God's hope, and God's endurance. God will never come to an end.

Able to - 1 Tim. 1:12, Judg. 24, Rom. 4:21, 2 Cor. 9:8, Phil. 3:21, Eph. 3:20

One who bears - Isa. 46:4, Exod. 19:4, Deut. 33:27, Ps. 55:22

Beauty, Fragrance, Desirability - Song of Sol. 5:16, Ps. 45:2, Isa. 33:17, Ps. 27:4, Ezek. 16:14

Beloved, Bridegroom - Song of Sol. 2:3,4,10–14, Isa. 62:4,5, Zeph. 3:17, Ps. 45:10,11

One who cares for me - 1 Pet. 5:7, Isa. 27:3, Ps. 23, Deut. 11:10–15

Champion - Ps. 4:1, 63:1, 2 Chron. 20:12,15, Ps. 45:3–5, Isa. 49:25

Comforter - John 14:16–18, Isa. 51:3, Matt. 5:4, 2 Cor. 1:3–5

Companion - Isa. 41:10,13, Micah 6:8, Song of Sol. 8:5, Luke 24:32

Compassion - Lam. 3:22,23, Jer. 31:20, Isa. 49:13, Ps. 145:9

Displeasure, Indignation, Anger - Deut. 11:16,17, Mal. 1:16–14, Isa. 1:10–20, 59:1–15, 54:7–9

Enabler- Phil. 2:13, 1 Pet. 4:11, Col. 1:29, 1 Cor. 15:10 (See also Sufficiency)

Eternal - Ps. 90:1,2, Dan. 4:34, Heb. 1:10–12, Rev. 1:8,17–18

Exalted - Eph. 1:19–23, Phil. 2:9–11, Col. 1:15–19, Heb. 17–18

Faithfulness - 2 Thess. 3:3, 1 Thess. 5:23,24, Phil. 1:6, Heb. 10:23, 11:11, Isa. 49:14–16

Forgiveness - Eph. 1:7,1 John 1:9, Ps. 130:3,4, 103:3,8–12

Friend - John 15:14,15, Num. 12:7, James 2:23

Gentleness - Isa. 40:11, Ps. 18:35, Matt. 11:29

Giver - John 3:27, James 1:17, Ps. 145:16, Rom. 8:32

Good plan for my life - Jer. 29:11, Rom. 12:2, Ps. 31:19, 34:8–14, 84:11

Grace - Eph. 1–6, John 1:14,16, 2 Cor. 8:9, 9:8, 12:9, 1 Cor. 15:10

Greatness - Jer. 10:6,7, Mal. 1:11, Ps. 8:3,4, 145:3, 1 Chron. 29:11,12

Guide - Ps. 73:23,24, 48:14, Isa. 30:21, 42:16, 48:17

Habitation, Home, Hiding place - Ps. 90:1, 91:1,9,10, 71:3, Isa. 32:1,2 (See also Refuge)

High Priest, Intercessor - Rom. 8:34, Heb. 2:17,18, 4:14–16, 7:25, 1 John 2:1, John 17

Holy - Isa. 6:1–3, 57:15, Heb. 7:26, 1 Pet. 1:15,16

Holy Spirit - John 16:13, Rom. 8:2–17, Gal. 5:16–25, Eph. 4:30, 5:18–2, 1 Cor. 6:19,20

Husband - Isa. 45:5, Hos. 2:16,19–20, Rom. 7:4

Indwelling - 1 Cor. 6:19,20, Gal. 2:20, Eph. 3:16–21, 1 John 4:4 (See also Union with)

Just - 2 Chron. 19:7, Isa. 11:3,4, Deut. 32:4, Ezek. 18:25,29, Gen. 18:25, 2 Pet. 2:4–10

Keeper - Isa. 27:3, Jude 24, 2 Pet. 1:3, Ps. 121

King - Dan. 4:37, Ps. 47:6–8, 1 Tim. 6:15, Rev. 17–14, Ps. 45:1–11

Knowledge - Ps. 139:1–6, Job 23:10, Matt. 6:32, Luke 12:7, Isa. 46:9,10

Life -John- 11:25, 14:6, 17:3, Col. 3:4,1 John 5:12,20, John 10:10

Light - John 1:4–9, 8:12, l John 1:5, Ps. 18:28–30, Luke 1:78,79, Isa. 9:2

Lord - Rom. 14:7–9, John 13:13, Luke 1:38, Luke 6:46, 1 Pet. 3:15

Love - Jer. 31:3, John 17:23–26, Rom. 5:5,8, 8:35–39, 1 John 3:1,2,16, 4:7–21

Maker, Potter - Isa. 41:15,16, 43:7, 45:9, 49:2,3, 54:5,11,12, Jer. 18:1–6

Mercy - Lam. 3:22,23, Ps. 25:6,7, 145:8–9, Heb. 8:12 (See also Forgiveness)

Nourishment - John 6:51,57,58, Isa. 55:1,2, Song of Sol. 2:3,4, Ps. 36:8

Owner of all - 1 Chron. 29:11,12,14, Ps. 50:10, 89:11, Rom. 11:35,36

My owner- Deut. 7:6, Ps. 100:3, Rom. 14:8, 1 Cor. 6:19

Promise keeper - Num. 23:19, 1 Kings 8:56, Heb. 6:12–20, 10:23,36,37, 2 Cor. 1:20, Rom. 4:20,21

Protector- Ps. 34:7, 18:2,3, 125:2, Isa. 43:2 (See also Refuge, Champion)

Provider- Matt. 6:25–34, Phil. 4:19, Matt. 7:7,11, Hos. 2:8

Powerful - Jer. 32:17, Ps. 66:3, Mark 10:27, Eph. 1:19–21 (See also Able to)

Refuge - Isa. 25:4, Ps. 57:2, 31:19,20, Prov. 14:26

Refreshment, Rest- Acts 3:19, Jer. 31:25, Song of Sol. 2:3, Matt. 11:28–30, Heb. 4:10

Rewarder- 1 Cor. 3:14, 15:58, 2 Cor. 5:10, Heb. 6:10, 11:6, Gal. 6:7–9

Sacrifice, Substitute - Matt. 20:28, John 10:11,15, Isa. 53:4–6, Rom. 5:6–8, 1 Pet. 2:24, 3:18

Satisfier- Ps. 145:16,19, 34:4, 103:5, 107:8,9, 36:8

Sovereign - Ps. 115:3, 135:5,6, Isa. 46:9–11, Dan. 4:345–37, Eph. 1:11,1 Tim. 6:15

Stability, Security - Isa. 33:6, Ps. 125:1, Acts 20:24, Prov. 1:33, Ps. 112:6–8

Strength - Isa. 49:5, 40:29–31, 45:24, Ps. 71:16, Dan. 11:32, Eph. 6:10

Sufficiency - 2 Cor. 3:5, 9:8, 12:9

Sympathy - Isa. 63:9, Ps. 103:13, Heb. 4:15, James 5:11

Teacher - Ps. 25:8,9, 32:8, Isa. 30:20, John 16:13

Unchangeable - Heb. 13:8, Ps. 102:26,27, Job 23:13, Num. 23:19

Union with - 1 Cor. 6:15,17, Rom. 7:4, Eph. 5:30, John 15:5 (See also Indwelling)

Victor- Col. 2:15, Heb. 2:14,15, Exod. 14:13,14, 15:6,7, Ps. 66:3, Rev. 3:21, Rom. 8:31–39

Worthy - Rev. 5:12, 4:11, 2 Sam. 22:4, Ps. 18:3, John 1:27, Jer. 10:6,7

(From Moms in Touch, International)